That's the thing that's lacking - and any of us may lack it sometimes - discretion.
We recently did a study of the ten commandments, and the ninth command (no false witness) is largely about discretion in everyday application. Discretion is a function of wisdom (Proverbs 5:1-2, 8:12) and includes a concern both about our own self-interest and the interests of others (as opposed to subtlety or cleverness which tend to be about our own narrow self-interest).

Ever notice how many of the things God hates are about things said to harm others? (Proverbs 6:16-19)

Eph 4:14-15
14 Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. 15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.
NIV

Eph 4:25
25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.
NIV

Eph 4:29
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
NIV

And I often hear third hand something I "said" that isn't quite what I said at all...