Steve, brother. You are clearly hanging out with the wrong people, if this is truly the case. (My guess is that many Christians have a similar perception and I admit that sometimes I do. Our Christian groups can't be this way. We must be able to create mutual trust and confidence. You have hit on an issue that is really a big one to me, it is the flaw of mutual edification (read: no located preacher) the way that many practice it. This is not to say that ME is bad, there is just a tremendous need for very strong leaders and for even more that can serve and lead at the same time. I feel that there is such a desire for congregational autonomy that it too often becomes personal autonomy. Personal autonomy, when it goes too far, leads to groups with various vocal members going in various directions (e.g. Why sould I listen to you?, I give sermons and teach the class too--I don't need your opinion). The result is that everyone is their own authority and safety net. There is too little respect for each other and the fact that God uses humans to do His work in many cases. The real need is to allow and expect others to provide help and comfort when we need it and to be the type of person that builds up first and judges last.