I think that as Christians we are called upon to be that person someone can trust implicitly and confide in -- confess to. That's the other side of James' admonition, in the context of confessing to each other he didn't say "and talk about each other" he said "and pray for each other." (James 5:16)

It is a rare commodity, trust. I'm down to one person in the world I have been able to confide in and know it will go no further. Truly sad. A problem that haunts us is that we pretty much have to make clear and beg that what we tell/write folks not be passed on, or you can bet it will be. Sounds like a good idea for a signature line in emails, eh?

As for confession, John Lee said something at the 2 week meeting last year that sounded reasonable to me: the confession should be as public as the sin was. That would translate to keeping the confession as private as the sin is.